why are boys so loud why do they have to yell and push each other around in the hallways all the time shhhhhhhhh ssshhhhhhh shhh it’s alright calm down

Because it’s how we both demonstrate that we’re dangerous enough to defend those we care about, and also show that people should respect us because we are powerful. Also play aggression demonstrates familiarity and trust and is a very important part of masculine friendships.

I don’t see how safe, consensual physical roughhousing is a bad thing?

If a girl said “I love karate practice because the sparring’s fun,” would you judge her?

If an nb said “I like kink because it lets me and my partners play with violence and aggression in a safe way and know our boundaries will be respected,” would you judge them?

If an autistic or adhd person said “I need exercise and strong physical stimulus to self-regulate, especially when I have to spend most of the day sitting still in class,” would you judge that person?

It’s bad that girls are socialised not to play rough, ever, and that boys are socialised not to be physically affectionate with each other, ever.

But that doesn’t mean playing rough is bad or that cis and trans men and boys are bad for expressing affection with each other in that way.

Or that liking to roughhouse means you can’t also be gentle and affectionate and respectful.

I TOTALLY see your point and I one million percent agree with everything you have said

but like

for real

there was context here, and that was “in the hallways”.

By which I am assuming school.  Because that’s the demographic of the OP.

Doing that kind of thing randomly in a crowded public space where people are already hurried, under pressure, and possibly already hyperaroused/hypervigilant due to expectation of verbal/physical attack (I’m assuming a school setting and school is a septic hellhole) is really really inconsiderate, and threatening as hell.

Needing to roughhouse and cut loose is fine!  I actually totally understand that! I found school fucking oppressive because I was told when I could speak, move, change tasks, go to the bathroom, eat, etc.  It was like being sat on and muzzled for eight hours a day.  Every fiber of my being ITCHED by the end of the day.  I get it.

Hollering and yelling and jumping on each other and pushing and jostling where it can really, really upset and intimidate other people is just … honestly … stop it.

Yes, you can roughhouse all you like and still be gentle and affectionate and respectful!  I know plenty of dudes who like to get rambunctions, and that‘s normal and natural for people of any gender.

But it’s not at all even remotely no nuh-uh no way respectful to do it in a crowded space where you are either annoying or scaring the shit out of people who did not consent to be part of your playing and just want some peace and quiet.

So no, this is not about consensual roughhousing, this is about dragging other people into a loud confrontation against their will and creating a threatening, unpleasant environment … when school is already a threatening, unpleasant environment and many of the people most disturbed by this are likely to be the ones who are subjects of OTHER forms of DELIBERATE harassment.  This kind of thing contributes in a very real and direct way to a hostile, scary atmosphere for a lot of people.  I was violently attacked in a hallway at school.  I am hardly alone.  It happens to tons of kids at every school in the country.  So cutting loose in a hallway where this sort of shit can easily be read as an impending threat?  Nah, I’m not here for it.

Also, these fuckers knocked my books out of my hands by ACCIDENT on multiple occasions, causing my stuff to get stomped on and kicked around and some of it was art so no, those dudes can EAT MY ASS.  Go to class, sit down, then punch each other in the parking lot after class or something.  Just leave the rest of us alone.


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